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Saturday, June 19, 2010

A Fathers Day Rant- Or Observations...

I wondered about my dad for years...as I got older, I saw the wisdom (or lack of it!) in his actions! He never hit me, but I got yelled at a lot.. I figured out later he was doing the best he could, with what the good Lord gave him! He was a good bowler, and the day I became a better one, we never said a word. He was proud, and I never rubbed in the fact that I could now beat him. He was a terrible cheat at golf, yet for years I let him be..he was decent enough to take a teach me the game, as best he could. He loved me, and I loved him, no matter what came up between us. He never thought he was good enough, but I did. I was the "bad cop" in the family..the guy who had to tell dad he was dying.. but I also told him he had done a great job raising three productive kids who loved him.. Try to understand your father Sunday- it ain't easy being one all the time, you know..

42 comments:

Gloria said...

Dear Buffalo nice post. I m sure your Dad knew how much you loved him .
All our Dads (and us too) try to do the better with us. I know now too. Know I uderstand my Dad. (he has 82)
I hope you have a beauty Father's day, huggs, gloria

buffalodick said...

Gloria- You have as big a heart as your body could hold- you understand what I'm saying!

Barbara said...

My dad passed away 10 years ago at the age of 94 after a long bout with prostate cancer that spread to the bone. I was also the one who told him what was going on the last day of his life.
He was a good dad; yes, he spanked, but that generation did. I also think he was tougher on my brother than on my sister and I. And I know he loved us and knew we loved him. I miss he and my mother every day. I was one of the lucky ones and it sounds as though you were too.
Happy Father's Day, Dick!

buffalodick said...

Barb- I have two boys, one out of state that sent a great book, and the other will stop by tomorrow! I treat them both fair and rough, and they know now it is a fathers way of making them men...and showing his love. without looking like a queer!

Chef E said...

Very heartfelt Buff- I too understood after I had my own kids what my parents really went through. I think about them all the time, even dream about them. My son one day will respect me the same way- well he does, but you know after he has one of his own he will call and say 'thanks', or maybe not!

You seem like you are a great father as well as you were a son!

Happy Fathers Day!

buffalodick said...

ChefE- About we get the hang of it, it's over! Too bad, as I think older folks really can help the kids!

blueviolet said...

Sounds like you accepted him for who he was and that is pretty darn hard to do. Very, very nice and honest post. Happy Father's Day!

Lea Ann said...

Great post BD. Happy Father's Day to you.

my33people said...

Happy Father's Day! Hope you have a great one :)

intuitive eggplant said...

Very nice post, BD. Wishing you a great Father's Day. Will you get to be with your kids?

buffalodick said...

BlueV- Dad was well liked by a lot of people, but like a great deal of us- the closest people were the hardest to like!
Lea Ann- Thanks! I have two boys that know now, I always worked to make them better people...
33- I will! Thanks!
Eggplant- One is out of state, the other will be here...I care greatly for both my sons..

Brian Miller said...

you share some great wisdom there...it is not always easy...but hopefully we string together enough of the good moments to make an impression...happy fathers day friend!

carma said...

Buffalo - this is incredibly touching. I'm sure my dad raised us the best he could; but it was rather crappy at times, to be honest :-(

Have a Happy Father's Day!

buffalodick said...

Brian- Nothing goes smooth as silk..if it did I'd tell you how to do it...I love and miss my dad and grandfather..and I hope my kids do the same. Happy Fathers Day to you!

buffalodick said...

carma- I'm sure he meant well..most dads care ,but don't know how to show it..it's what dads do..

Jeff B said...

As I raise my two boys I see a lot of my father in me. Many times that's good, other times not so much. It's a balancing act to be tough without overbearing.

From the words you pen and the comments you leave, I can tell you have been and are a good father.

A happy Fathers Day to you.

sage said...

What a wonderful post... Maybe I'll have to write about my dad tomorrow, I've done on a few father's days.

buffalodick said...

Jeff- I know you are a good dad- and it isn't always easy..and that is part of being a good dad!
sage- Do it, as you are a good writer! being a good father isn't about a cake walk.

Kate said...

I spent a lot of time being mad at my parents for all kinds of imagined injustices. I regret it and I will spend the rest of their lives making sure they know how much I love them.

義珊 said...

It is no use crying over spilt milk..................................................................

Vickie said...

Nicely put. Have a great Father's Day, BD.

Pam said...

Lovely post. I haven't seen my dad since I was six years old. I guess some men just aren't meant to be dads.

WizzyTheStick said...

It's nice that you were able to love your dad for what he was - not some glorified father image but a real dad flaws and all

Ellie (Almost Bourdain) said...

Great post. have a great father's day.

Eternally Distracted said...

You hit a nerve and I will try harder with my Dad...

MarmiteToasty said...

Blessed Buff thats what your were/are.

Neither me or my sons will ever know the love of a father..... and that at times saddens me....

So......... :)

Happy Fathers Day To Me-Ive Had To Be A Mum And Dad To My 4 Sons-It Would Of Been Nice For Them To Of Had A Real Dad But 'he' Chose A Different Path and He's Missed The Precious Gift Of Being In Their Lives and Watching Them Grow - I Love Them Unconditionally And Forever-I Will Be Here For Them No Matter What-Now Excus...e Me Whilst I Go Fart And Scratch Me Undercarriage And Burp. Thats What Blokes Do Isnt It? :)

Buff... you're a great dad by the sounds of it.... nice to know they do exist..

x

buffalodick said...

Kate- We all have dwelt on what our parents weren't, and until we walk a mile in their shoes, we don't realize what they did do for us...
Asian friend- Spilt milk is more precious, once spilt..
Vick- Should be a good one!
Pam- Being a father is indeed different from being a Dad..
Wizzy- When younger, he was busy working for a living..as things got better, we spent more time together. He did miss a lot of my growing up- but for a reason I didn't understand until later!
Ellie- Thanks!
E.D.- I'm glad I spent a lot of time with him the last year of his life...
Marmy- I'm sorry your Ex couldn't understand 4 boys could have used his help at times..Happy Fathers Day to you, not him!

Ally said...

This is so sweet. Very nicely put and I'm sorry about your dad. We will all go through that if we haven't already :(

PS Are you sure the Asian comment isn't generic and spam? Just saying. Those dots always lead to some random link I'm afraid to click on.

buffalodick said...

Ally- I don't know..I handle them with care by checking the site..

Realliveman said...

Happy Dad's Day!!

buffalodick said...

R.L.M.- It wasn't all bananas in Eden, but I'm glad and proud to call myself a Dad- I have two good sons...

Jeanne said...

Which proves my theory: good sons make good fathers.

Marjie said...

Nice tribute, Buff. You are a good man indeed.

Jingle said...

Happy Father's Day,
Your writing is cool!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Well written, BD! I've always had a tough relationship with my Dad. It's not easy being a daughter sometimes.

Happy Father's Day!
T

Intense Guy said...

It took me many years to understand my Dad - and now I couldn't be prouder that he is MY dad.

Happy Fathers Day BD.

sheri said...

this was such a great post, buffalo, unlike any i've had the privledge of reading while visiting here...some real insight into the kind of fella that you are. is he still around? i thought not by the way you talked about having to be the 'bad cop'...

Mona said...

Happy Father's Day Buf

buffalodick said...

Jeanne- I didn't appreciate him until I was a dad..
Marjie- My sons have grown up, and aren't fathers yet..
Jingle- Glad you liked it!
Momster- I was the youngest, yet ended up doing a lot of the work when they were getting too old to do it themselves..
I.G.- You just don't realize a lot of stuff about your parents until you are grown..
Sheri- He has been gone for about 6 years..
Mona- Thanks! It was a good one!

doggybloggy said...

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years." ~Mark Twain, "Old Times on the Mississippi" Atlantic Monthly, 1874

jolie-jordan said...

There's been many examples of good dad's and (unfortunately) many examples of bad dad's. I guess that will always be the way it is in life. It's too bad that people don't have to take a test before they are allowed to be parents and maybe a 3 week course each year to review how they are doing.

Anyhow, it sounds as if you have some good memories and this is a good thing. I'm sorry you had to be the one to tell him he was dying. Very hard job.

Happy Father's Day Buff, sounds like you really deserve one.
J-

buffalodick said...

DogB- My kids found that out, and call me all the time for advice on cooking, fixing cars, etc.
J.J.- My Dad and I got closer the last year of his life..for years I would take him golfing somewhere really nice the Saturday before Fathers Day..He really liked that!