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Sunday, March 21, 2010

Real Humor From My Past...Incidents At My Club!

You have heard me touch briefly on the fact that I have belonged to a private club for twenty years..It is not an upscale club, but more of a hall, that happens to be very well run and nice..It goes back over 120 years, and was a German only club until WWII when the FBI broke in and wanted to know why...These are a few of my stories that I found humorous over the years...
When first a member, I went there to bowl a few games(we have 4 lanes!) When done, I put my bowling bag behind me at the bar stool I was sitting on..old member tripped ass over applecart on it- I thought they were going to lynch me..
Worked a dance once, ran out of dance wax. Buddy thought indoor shuffleboard wax would work..it worked all right- like wax BBs ! Presidents wife went flying flat on her back first step she took! She was knocked unconscious... If she wouldn't have been drunk, she would have broke her neck.. I did my impression as a Zamboni with a push broom clearing the floor!
When I was president, an 80 year old woman shoved a small male member in the arm..he wrote a complaint, which the board was forced to address. I had to put an 80yr. old lady on probation, by the rules of the club..
I ran a Valentine's party once, and gave away intimate apparel in raffles.. made more money than the kitchen did!
One time, while president, a couple at the bar were all over each other..They were guests, not members, and some of the wives came up to me to do something about it! I went up to them and told them politely this wasn't where that was allowed..they laughed and left. A guy comes running in, and says they are in a car in the lot "getting busy".. I said "don't" just before 30 people went out to look..windows steamed, car rockin', everyone stood on the porch with mouths open! I ordered everyone back inside, and told them I wasn't touching this one!
We had a number of chili cook offs, one was when I changed propane tanks without turning off the stove- set my tablecloth on fire..didn't hear the end of that for years!
Your life is made of memories..write them down, take photos, tell and retell them..You will realize someday, just how precious they are..

40 comments:

Velva said...

Funny...memories are a collection of events that add up to great stories to share with others. I am glad that you took the time to share a few of your club stories with us :-)

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Wow, even your funny stories make me hungry. Maybe it's just lunch time.

Thanks for sharing. I can't believe you didn't mention the diamond story! ;)

Rachel said...

You are hilarious!!!!!!! I love your stories!

"Your life is made of memories..write them down, take photos, tell and retell them..You will realize someday, just how precious they are."

Quotes to live by.......

buffalodick said...

Velva- You really had to be there!
Momster- Wife doesn't like that one so much!
Rachel- We all have stories, we just must tell them- so they are heard and remembered!

Brian Miller said...

haha..these are hillarious...makes me wish youtube was around back then...smiles.

buffalodick said...

Brian- I must have 20+ I didn't tell.. maybe later!

The Gypsy Chef said...

I find you highly entertaining! Keep the stories coming!
Pam

Martha said...

LOL! Good times! :-)

Gloria said...

Dear Buffalo you really make me laugh with your funny histories and I love how you talk about it!

LOL gloria

Just telling it like it is said...

Oh you know how much I love it when you tell us your stories..I bet that was a sight to see..could have used sex wax..you know the wax the put on surf boards!!

doggybloggy said...

sex wax - now that would have been funny - everyone stuck in place - great stories!

Marjie said...

I have an entire bookcase full of photo albums, and about 5 years' worth to be printed, sorted and booked. I also have about 20 framed photos on each child's bedroom wall, of them from newborn until high school grad. The visiting girlfriend last week thought this was the nicest thing she had ever seen. I told my son she's way too nice for him.

UBERMOUTH said...

I would have loved to have seen the lady dancing! hahaha

Vickie said...

Great share, BD! Stories like these are fun over a beer (or 3 or 4). :)

Eternally Distracted said...

Great stories. Hilarious.

Realliveman said...

Funny!

Seems even the Master is on the other side of Six Sigam sometimes (the other side of 99.99% perfection) lol

highlandsranchfoodie said...

"ass over applecart"?? That's a new one, love it. Love all the memories and I love it when my husband and I spend the evenings in "remember whens". Great post.

Akelamalu said...

This is exactly what blogs are for - to record things just like that! Loved the stories Buff and I bet you have a whole lot more stored away. Do tell. :)

G-Man said...

Richard The Historian...
You wear that hat great as well!

Heff said...

Now I want a bowl of chili !

buffalodick said...

Gypsie- In a few weeks I'll cover some of the funnier sales situations I was in over 30 years!
Martha- The place and members can be very unique..
Gloria- Blogging helps us have an on line diary of sorts..
Darngirl- It was like a cartoon where they throw ball bearings in front of the guys chasing the good guys!
DogB- That's why they waxed it- floor was sticky from humidity!
Marjie- Well prepared in the memory dept.!
Uber- I still see her lying on the floor- knocked out, with a smile on her face.. :)
Vick- I think you have figured out it is quite a watering hole!
E.D.- Thought of five more while typing post!
RLM- Part of my job was to tell a good story!
Highlander- Or ass over teacup is heard around here too..
Ake- Why I loved Harry Chapins muisc so much.. he told stories to song!
G-man- You and I have that in common, for sure!
Heff- I still use the burned tablecloth for laughs!

Ruth said...

Couldnt agree more! Memories and anedoctes are what brings colour into your life and you as a person! and these are great. thanks so much for sharingn!!

Kris said...

This was such a fun read from you! As always!

buffalodick said...

Ruth- I learned to laugh at myself before everyone else did!
Kris- Glad you enjoyed!

Just telling it like it is said...

Yeah I can totally imagine that! Funny

Michelle Ann said...

I love this post...it made my day and made me laugh!

buffalodick said...

Darngirl- You really had to be there- way funnier!
Michelle- Glad you got a chuckle!

A Year on the Grill said...

A great fun post... That's a club I would join. Any cook that has never set a little fire isn't trying hard enough

Tracie said...

I wish that I (consistently) kept a journal all my life. I have forgotten so many things and people along the way.

carma said...

that wax story is a hoot, esp. the luckily she was drunk part :D

Char said...

Love it when you tell your stories!

lesson said...

永遠支持你呀!!!謝謝格主 ........................................

otin said...

That sounds like quite a club! 80 year olds get put on probation while others get busy in the parking lot! lol

Ily said...

Buff, when you're not talking about cooking, you're talking about COOKIN'!

Intimate apparel giveaways, sex in the parking lot...sure you weren't living in Miami?? ;)

buffalodick said...

Griller- Alcohol was involved...
Tracie- It's how this blog actually got started..
carma- I could have won money with a video of it!
Char- I love to tell them!
lesson- Thanks for stopping by..
otin- She was a cranky old bag...
Ily- I think it happens everywhere!

The Good Cook said...

Love your club stories. Years ago I belonged to a private club called The Leiderkrantz.. an old German club in the wrong part of town. I had some of the best times of my life there.

buffalodick said...

Good Cook- We have moved 4 times in the club's history..now in a a north end part of town, it's pretty nice..

Chef E said...

Oh no those great thoughts of food mixed up with your funny stories have me laughing- I am about to snort water out my nose! LOL

Hubby does not like to be around when I read a poem called Silk Stockings, reminds him of his scoundrel friend how was hot for me years ago! It made for a good poem!

buffalodick said...

ChefE- I have been described as a rouge... sort of a scoundrel..

MarmiteToasty said...

Tiz why I try and do Twaddle, so all me memories oneday will be read by my lads...

Dam you food always makes me hungry and hunger to marry a chef LMFAO

x