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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Doesn't This Look Good? Well, It Wasn't!



Monday night, I fixed boneless skinless chicken breast sandwiches. I had been deliberating between flattening them and rolling them up with ham and cheese, or simply slicing them thinner, and using some that BB-Q sauce my son had sent me for my birthday... Well, the lazies attacked me, and I went with the seasoned sliced BB-Q chicken breasts.. I had been hoarding the sauce, and went with a bottle of Rufus Teagues. The bottle said it was "Blazing Hot", but a lot of them do.. I poured a bit on finger tip, and it was a bit lively! Broiled the chicken, flipped, coated with BB-Q sauce, and broiled some more. In the mean time, I sliced the dill pickles, and onions as the add-ons.. trust me, this flavor works-usually! Trimmed the breasts and made sandwiches on buns... Here's where the wheels fell off the wagon! We bit into this, with meat being tender, nice flavor and crunch from the veggies- but it was a bit hot.. Hot became very hot, then evolved into what I call stupid hot.. It then kept climbing until it reached inedible hot! Now I love hot, and my wife can keep up- but we were both sweating, with noses and eyes running, we both said "No Mas!!!" at the same time! I have had hot sauces that weren't as hot as this so called BB-Q sauce!
The next morning I swear I crapped battery acid! That night we had take out, while the kitchen was declared free of nuclear radiation...

39 comments:

TavoLini said...

LOL!!! Oh, I am so sorry for you guys, but that story cracked me up!!!

Hope you find some less spicy BBQ sauce in the future :)

blueviolet said...

LMAO!!! My husband had one time where he took a hot wings challenge at a restaurant and for the next two days he shot fire from his butt. He's never been in so much pain in his life! LOL

Pam said...

OMG. "Crapped battery acid" You have such a way with words.

Katherine Aucoin said...

You crack me up the crapping battery acid! I'm still laughing. I feel bad that this happened to you and your wife. why do they make that suff so miserably hot?

I also liked when you said, "This is where the wheels fell off the wagon...".

The Peach Tart said...

I love spicy food.

Marjie said...

I hate it when it all goes wrong, but your telling of the story was funny!

A Year on the Grill said...

great story, told well, and I hate this sauce for the same reason. I enjoy heat about as well as the next guy, but come on... How many people really want their stuff this hot.

K said...

What a shame! I can't handle hot at all so I'll stay far away.

Char said...

I guess every cooking concoction can't be the greatest. When you eat something that hot, you just know you'll have a revived memory of it the next day.

You think your son knew it was that HOT?

buffalodick said...

Tavolini- We were laughing too! When I say it's too hot, that frees my wife up to laugh at me- which she seems to enjoy more than is normal..
BlueV- If I ever meet Rufus, his ass is going to hurt in a whole new way- involving my foot!
Pam- I am he new voice of the Midwest- screw Garrison Kellor!
Katherine- I only have one enemy on the planet- me!
Peach- Thanks for sharing- I'll send you a bottle, and you can send photos of you running around fanning your mouth, and dragging your butt on the carpet like a dog with worms!
Marjie- I laugh at myself, before other people get in their shots!
Griller- You live out there where it's made..If you ever organize a torch and pitchfork parade to this place, I'll be there!
K- No hot sauce, you don't need a premie baby!
Char- Like he would admit it? Little bugger probably knew, and is laughing his narrow butt off...

Chris said...

Life is like a bowl of peppers, what you do today might burn your ass tomorrow :)

Too bad about the dish being ruined over something like that. By the way, Interstate Battery wants to talk with you about a "position" in their manufacturing plant ;)

The Blonde Duck said...

That's such a shame! It had such promise!

otin said...

Within reason, I have never found food that is too hot for me! I say within reason, because obviously, I could not munch out on a raw habanero! lol

Nat said...

"All things in moderation my dear Watson : )" ...Sherlock Holmes said...actually not sure who said that...but I am so sorry to hear of this...I doubt it would have troubled me that much though, because i come from the land of ridiculously spicy food : ) ...

jules said...

I enjoy spicy food very much, but I get really mad when something is too spicy and you can't enjoy it! So sorry! :-(

tamilyn said...

I'm thinking a huge bucket filled with ice and water might have soothed it for like a minute or two. Battery acid-ouch!

Yeah, scandahovian here doesn't like hot.

Hope you ordered out mashed potatoes and white bread :)

tamilyn said...

I'm thinking a huge bucket filled with ice and water might have soothed it for like a minute or two. Battery acid-ouch!

Yeah, scandahovian here doesn't like hot.

Hope you ordered out mashed potatoes and white bread :)

tamilyn said...

I'm thinking a huge bucket filled with ice and water might have soothed it for like a minute or two. Battery acid-ouch!

Yeah, scandahovian here doesn't like hot.

Hope you ordered out mashed potatoes and white bread :)

AudreyO said...

I don't do the hot stuff. One of my daughter's just loves it and almost never says "oh it's too hot" Sounds like maybe this sauce might get to even her.

Jeff B said...

My line for the same thing is, "I sh*t razor blades in the morning."

The words may be different, but the pain is the same.

boots said...

ahhh! I bet that was a site with the two of you realizing it was getting hotter and hotter! My Einstein loves hot sauces and always looking for hotter...I will have to get him Rufus sauce...

Love to marinate chicken breasts in Paul Newman Balsamic Dressing, grill and toss into salad or make sandwiches or add to fettuccine. ummm, easy and everyone loves it

Nice to fly again LOL

Donna-FFW said...

OMG!! Thank you for that out loud laugh I just had and that of my hubbys when I read your line, crapped out battery acid, I just adore you.

Chef E said...

Oh Noooooo, I am with Donna-FFW on this one, I just woke up hubby laughing so hard...but I feel the heat pain, have had that happen, and made it worse by breathing in once as I was about to take a bite and it went up my nose...oh both ends were hurting...

UBERMOUTH said...

I love food to bite me back when I bite it.

What is that BBQ sauce called?

buffalodick said...

Chris- I like it hot, but the hang time of this burn was way too long!
BlondeD- You live, learn, and laugh!
Otin- I used to collect hot sauces..This stuff mixed with something to cut the heat down might work..
Nat- I put hot sauce on eggs, cheese sandwiches, etc.- when I think it's hot, you better know it's hot!
Jules- We laughed and moved on, thought you people would enjoy the laugh too!
Tam- Worked better than Ex-Lax!
Audrey- At chili contests, it's tradition to try and get each other to try a hot sauce- can be pretty entertaining!
Jeff- When I have some high in fiber, I describe it as trying to crap a pine cone...
Boots- So many ways to flavor boneless, skinless chix breast..I just picked the wrong one that day!
Donna- I think the first time I heard that(Robert Shimmel), I laughed pretty hard, too!
Chef- With all my chili cooking, I've burned my eyes, nose, lips- and I found out to wash your hands BEFORE and after taking a leak.. I was doin' a pretty weird dance step after the pepper oils kicked me in the crotch!
Uber- Rufus Teague's, but I call it Red Napalm.....

Barbara said...

Why do I steer clear of the hot stuff?
Let me count the ways.....

buffalodick said...

Barb- If I knew, I wouldn't have... Some days we teach, other days we learn!

g-man said...

First of all Buff...I usually NEVER use Manwich, but the Bold stuff is not too bad. I have a special Sloppy Joe twist that I inherited from my Grandmother, it's top secret, and someday I may share with the World.
Secondly, I love hot! But Hot with flavor. When it gets stupid hot, that ridiculous...Daves Insanity?
Now thats stupid hot!

buffalodick said...

G-man- Free one.. Whenever you see a bottle of hot sauce that includes pepper extract- don't do it.. Dave's Insanity isn't the hottest, but it is nasty and too hot for enjoyment!

justjoycee said...

Been there, done that......too funny, hope all is well again.

Akelamalu said...

Oh I hate anything to HOT, for me it spoils it completely. I guess you won't be using that again?

buffalodick said...

J.J.- All's well, Live and learn..!
Ake- I'll use it again, as paint remover!

Chef E said...

Oh read your comment back, yeah my son has done the lower extremity and jalapeno dance before...

buffalodick said...

Chef- That one was worse than finger to eyeball...

JihadGene said...

Crapped battery acid!
LOL, LOOONG TIME!!!

buffalodick said...

Gene- Crapped battery acid loooong time, too!

snowelf said...

oh my word!

... I read this and laughed out loud so hard I had to read it to my cousin!! What a story!!!

--snow

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

OK, I seriously need to find out where your son found that hot sauce - because it totally sounds like something my hubby would actually enjoy...the hotter the better for him! He hasn't found a sauce that's 'too hot' - not even the one he bought out in Redmond, WA that came in a child-proof container and he had to sign a waiver for... :)

buffalodick said...

Snowniece- I hope your cousin enjoyed my ass-blastin' pain!
Stacy- I've signed waivers..If your husband can stand pain like that- he has no taste buds left! Feed him anything filling!