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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I Said I Would, And I Will.....

I've been "tagged" by odat. I must devise 5-10 courses I would (or should!) take to fix my life. Enjoy my shortcomings, and my theoretical courses I would take to improve....

1. Listening Skills 101: In the first grade we started getting report cards of a sort, listing 1, excellent(better than avg.) 2, satisfactory (avg.)and the dreaded 3, needs to improve(work on it, kid! Or else..) I was a bright kid, with mostly 1s', except in the catagory "Listens well while others are speaking"- my only 3. This was to repeat every year in some form through my formal education and into college. In my sales career I'm supposed to listen 80%, talk 20%. I now have all the appearances of a good listener! Wrong. I'm waiting for you to shut up, so I can talk again...

2. Advance Table Manners: I know which knife,fork,or spoon to use and can eat with them held in either hand. I know all the protocols and rituals of this countrys' dining experience. I don't spill, I use a napkin, etc. The problem you ask? Talking- again! I can blab so much during a meal, I always finish last. And people who talk with food in their mouth? I'm working on that...

3. Calming The Aggressive Driver: I'm a good driver! At this writing, I haven't had a point on my record in 20yrs. I just don't get passed alot in the course of a day, if you know what I mean...

4. Working With Electricity In The Home: Science, Physics, and all their disciplines are how I usually run my life. Except for Electricity, which is clearly the Devils' Creation sent to kill me for talking too much. I swear cannot change a light bulb without getting zapped! When I replace a door bell, I shut the power off for the whole neighborhood before I start. I'd tell the story of my Christmas outdoor lights electrocution, but that will be a post all on its' own in December....

5. How To Become A Team Player: I have sat through many a seminar demonstrating the benefits of working as a team. Most of the excercises result in the few doing the work of the sheep included in every group! I have learned how to get along with the other kids in the sandbox- I go play on the swings....

I'm not tagging anybody, but if there are any volunteers- go for it!

19 comments:

Jen said...

I also hate electricity, or should I say fear it likes it's the devil? I mean I appreciate it and love all the commodities we are allowed to have because of it, but shock and stings? They totally scare me!

Beth said...

Buff!!! I love this!!! Can I steal it? ;)

You crack me up...talking with food in your mouth?..I'd still share a meal with ya!

Paul Champagne said...

for me it would definitely be

Household handyman 101

Mechanic 101

I can just see the big bucks I would be saving.

Nancy said...

I've said it enough.. I'm certainly no Martha Stewart..

I have no clue about table manners because I always eat standing at the counter while doing other things...

Working with others is a challenge for me. I'm used to being in charge of my domain..

Oh! I can listen as long as it's not more than 5 minutes...

You could have included a pict with that list you know! ;-)

Mike M said...

Very cool courses Uncle B. Come see mine:
http://mminzes.blogspot.com/2007/11/forced-tagged-meme.html

Odat said...

That was great!!!!! Electricity scares me too...but I can change a lightbulb...lol...are ya listening to this??? Hellllooooo.....
;-) Thanks for playing!

Akelamalu said...

ROFL you're so funny Buffalo, I want to know more about #4 the electrocution - it sounds electrifying! ((wink))

Real Live Lesbian said...

"I have learned how to get along with the other kids in the sandbox- I go play on the swings...."

Excellent plan...see ya there! ;)

In_spired said...

aggressiveness 101: I've gotten better through the years, but still need improvement. I'll let people walk all over me without putting up any defense.

conversational skills 101: I am lacking in skills of conversation among a group of people. That's why I blog!!

These aren't my only shortcomings but what comes to mind immediately.

buffalodickdy said...

jen- I love electricity! Electricity doesn't love me back...
beth- Steal away! The food? I don't spray it around much, but it probably doesn't look too cool...
paul- Careful not to spend the savings at the med center...
nance- oh, I forgot the last class No. 6- Portrait Photography 101....
mike- I did! Bullying poor, sweet odat.... how could you?
odat- Don't get me started on my long, old list of light bulb jokes...
ake- I will do a couple of posts in December about special holiday moments- that being one of them!
R.L.L.- I can work well with others in short, non-sustainable bursts. Longer than that requires medication...
in_spired- You need to swear more and drink- but somehow I don't think you're gonna do either one!

Chels-Puddle Jumper said...

I'd rather eat with a man that talks a lot and eats slowly, than someone who scarfs everything down in 5 minutes flat.

Tavolini said...

hahaha, I can't play with others, either. Funny post!

pinknest said...

hilarious. i'm not handy with electricity either and can't wait to hear about this electrocution incident.

buffalodickdy said...

chels- In my job, I have to "lunch" customers and in the many years I've done this, I've eaten with people that were done while I was still arranging my plate!
Tavolini- I like people alot, but working with some folks is harder than just doing it yourself..
pink- Maybe sometime next week I'll post my "enlightening" tale...

snowelf said...

Hi Uncle Buff!!

Sorry I've been away. I DID read your Lassie/Pirate comment and it was AWESOME! I totally loved it!!

1. "Wrong. I'm waiting for you to shut up, so I can talk again..."
I come from a WHOLE family of your kind, so I have NINJA like skills of interruption.

2. "I can blab so much during a meal, I always finish last." I'm a super slow eater, so I love when people talk through meals cause then I have company!

3. Hey, you got stuff to say and no one to say it to in the car!

4. So rubber glover and boots for Christmas?

5. I am not a fan of teams either. Ninjas work best alone. ;)

This will be my Meme for next saturday as I already have one for this saturday cause it seems like good clean fun. :)

--snow

Mona said...

Buf, Talk Talk... please do not stop.. we love when you talk!

urban vegan said...

All I can say is, LOL.

Queenie said...

I love it when your talking, and I can help myself to seconds while you chatter along.
Team player? while you lot were at the park, I was sent to the zoo.

buffalodickdy said...

Snow- I do have one gift- I do retain alot of what other people say when they're talking, and can ask intelligent questions later!
Mona- When I talk, I use my whole body- expressions, waving hands & arms, etc. Probably would make a funny video without a sound track!
UrbanV- I laugh at myself alot- it helps others know it's okay!
Queenie- I built a sandbox once for my kids when they were young, and they didn't like to play in it either! It seems the neighborhood cats thought it was an upscale litter box....