I have wonderful people who I blog with, but there was a time..long ago... when the world did not blog..(Imagine us all dressed in hides or uncured animal skin- around a campfire.. and the Old Fart, who tells the Tales, and teaches reading the signs of how old the buffalo crap is- and where that herd is headed, is speaking..)Got your attention? Good!
I have noticed a lot of young couples, who have young children show up here and comment. I loved that time of my life, and understand many of you young women that are tied to house and children, loving being a Mom, but still trying to be an individual too.. This was one of the ways we sought to remember, while we had children- we were still adults, and people too!
I organized a "Supper Club".. The format was as follows:
1. Total of 6 couples, 4 couples per month, in rotation..
2. Couple at top of list had to pick out, and make reservations for 4 couples(8) when it was their turn.
3. We would alert the restaurant what we were doing, and would be graded against the other restaurants picked by the other couples. No restaurant could be picked more than once.
4. If you could not attend, the next person in line got to go.
5. They were graded by couples attending that night on:
A. Service.
B. Choices on menu.
C. Presentation.
D. Execution of dish.
E. Overall Experience of Evening.
It was a tremendous success! Everyone loved getting out,dressing up, being spoiled, and being adults(but still parents, as conversations ran to kids!), it was a pleasant interlude between work, duties at home, and helping us remember- we were people too!
Life is a balancing act, between marriage, kids, jobs, and stuff you didn't see coming!
Last night, I brought cheesecake to my bud going though chemo.. he was whupped, but hung in there- his wife and both grown kids were there(known all 30++ years!). Had fun, talked about the old days when we were so young, cancer was what somebody else died of.. Never once talked of it, as only an idiot would have..
Have good times and remember them- as they may not pass your way again..
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36 comments:
I'm sorry about your friend, but your overall post is uplifting and thought provoking, and you're right, it's important to get that balance and live with little regrets. My best to your buddy. I'm sure anything hand-whipped by you will make anyone feel better!
Aw, Buff, now you're sounding like a sentimental old fool like me!
Scarlet- I know, by my instincts, that you know everything I do along those lines of thinking.. Keep it up, as someday many will look to you for wisdom- when they seek it..
Marjie- As I said, I'm the real deal, and caring quite a bit about old friends is something all my friends can count on..
sorry about your friend - the supper club sounded like it was a lot of fun you should still do it...Life in NYC is probably a lot different and a lot not so different than everywhere else - I am in a big city not tucked away in some neighborhood...I have friends that I have known since I was a kid and they live all over the place - in September we are going to visit a guy I have known since I was 17 (I have seen him almost every year since 1977)- he has lived in Paris, Miami and now Tennessee - he is from New Mexico like me....never pass on anything it may not come around again.
My early married years didn't include restaurant money (barely included grocery money!) but we got together once or twice a month with 3 other couples and played euchre till the sun came up....
Thanks for the reminder, BD. It's easy to forget in the day in day out of just getting through the week.
DogB- We were to take turns heading up the group, but when my year was done, no one wanted to take over..
Jeanne- by the time we did this, we were all about 30yrs. old, and all of us finally were making good money..
Chris- All the couples, except one-are all still married to each other!
This is a great idea. It could even be adapted for the economy by having the couples host a dinner and try new recipes, which could be graded.
Buff...This was one of your best posts...
Thanks for sharing...G
Finn- You are right as rain! Good idea!
G-man- Thanks! Ox Yokes? You never cease to amaze me...
Not as many moms stay at home. Neighborhoods used to be different. Moms would all hang out during the week. Since I am only off in the summer, I need to make teacher friends with kids. The stay at home moms do not want to invest social time with me due to going back to work in the fall. Woman can be clicky. I digressed...
your supper club sounds fabulous!! Great memories.
Hit40- Some of these Moms worked, and it was done like the skating rink- couples only! People tend to be on their best behavior in a public setting- with their spouses right there!
Great post Buff. A gentle reminder that we all take our lives and each other too much for granted.
I love this. I'll try to keep a little extra "carefree" and "sweetness" in my pocket. :-)
Katherine- Chris pointed out we tend to let ourselves be run by our lives, not our life being run by us..
LiLu- I was real concerned you weren't having any fun...HA! You have more fun than two people!
I soooo wish I lived closer to my St Louis friends. Everyone will have a child by the year and this would be such a great thing to do with them!!
--snow
I soooo wish I lived closer to my St Louis friends. Everyone will have a child by the year and this would be such a great thing to do with them!!
--snow
A supper club sounds fun.
Hope your friend gets well soon. So hard to watch somebody go through chemo.
Snow- We are surrounded by friends who have grandchildren- but not us!
K- Was fun, and still see three of the couples socially... Yeah, when I visited, he was pretty tired, but very happy we came over..
Your dinner party idea was brilliant and the fact that nobody had to do the work of hosting it made it extra brilliant.
I'm glad you had a great visit with your buddy. I too absolutely love to talk about the old days. That's the best part of family get-togethers for me...hearing the stories and reliving the memories.
BlueV- The ability to tell a good story, or a good joke is being lost through technology... People are forgetting the warmth and the fun listening to a live story/joke can produce...I use it to bond with people who have lived a bit, and to get younger folks to laugh and understand that there was a time, before the written word- stories told by people were only kept alive by the verbal telling of them..
Buff I loved this post. It's good to hear a bit more about your life story. I'd like to hear more actually. What time are we all invited over for dinner and a chat?
These are all lovely sentiments that we should keep living every day. It is hard to face someone we love, as we all grow older, going through something so terrible as cancer (my brother has ALS) and the important thing is to keep on going, enjoy life every day and share that beauty with those we love and care for. The sharing of food is a wonderful thing because through it we share so much more.
That sounds like so much fun! I do an annual christmas cookie exchange party .. not the same thing, but we all look forward to it all year long. I dole out prizes for many different things. Lotsa drinking, eating.. just good times.
My thoughts are with you .. know how youre feeling with your friend, sorta. My FIL just had colon surgery yesterday for stage 4 cancer at NYU medical center, so .. big hug for you BD! You are doing the best thing for him.. your presence.
KB- I periodically post a tale of what went on in my earlier life- glad you enjoyed!
Jamie- A woman I knew and liked for 25 yrs, died of ALS(Lou Gerig's Disease), and didn't know it until almost the end.. I did visit her in Hospice, and was going to go back the next week, with an autographed copy of a Historical Romance novel(she loved them) but I was too late..
Donna- The supper club was fun while it lasted.. Best wishes to your FIL..
You are so right Buff, we are only here once, life is not a rehearsal. We have always been very lucky - when the kids were young my MIL babysat for us every Saturday night while MWM and I went out for a meal, or a drink and spent time on our own. We carried on the tradition when we didn't need a babysitter any more and now we do a whole lot more together, we still have our Saturday night out though come hell or high water! :)
I'm glad you got to spend some time with your friend. x
Ake- For years, we would go to a private club we belong to every Friday night, and hang out with friends...
What a great club you had going! I bet you guys had a blast, and you always had something to look forward to.
I hope your friend is doing okay.
Bina- We did have fun! Friend was more than pleased... I have a memory like an elephant, and told stories of our past adventures to his kids(grown!), who laughed and maybe realized their parents had fun too, back in the day!
when hubby and I lived in Texas we did it once a month, supper clubbing, but here in Jersey we have only recently met a few couples who are willing to take time out of busy schedules and we formed a wine and food club, I host this coming week, so far so good...
I lost two good friends in Dallas to cancer, and so many family members after 2000...things like your friend hit me hard, but I try and stay supportive...you are a good friend!
ChefE- You and I will always have a bit to tweak about each other, but that is what friendship is all about! The older you get, the more you realize- it ain't about you, it's about all of the people.. May we all be happy, and help each other when it is needed..
Old Fart On Mountain, who speaks the truth..
Buff, The Bad Man..
Let the good times roll!
Gene- I need to remember that- more than I currently do... May all your good times be better than good...
You always have the best stories and great ideas...
I love your idea of a supper club. I wish I could get enough folks to participate in something like that here.
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